Thursday, August 11, 2011

I love lists... but God doesnt...


I’m getting a new perspective... a perspective of love, a desire to please out of want not duty... this is something I struggle with, not that I don’t love God with everything in me but I’m a person who loves lists... for me its easier to follow a list of dos and don’ts, I like when someone is like this is what you HAVE to do, I’m a horrible decision maker so in general I like when others make decisions for me but in my walk with God that just doesn’t work because our relationship with God is a one on one thing that others cant decide for you and there is no list of dos and don’ts to ensure a perfect Christian walk, everyday were faced with decisions either major or minor that will effect your life… but our relationship with God is a back and forth relationship, like any real friendship its requires give and take, trial and errors and constant learning from one another and that’s what its like with God and with a perception of love but falling in love with our creator and getting closer to him we learn how to make decisions to please him and want to do the things that bring joy to our lives… its not always black and white like lists are because if it was God would have never had to sacrifice his son for the world and life would just be a boring religious experience, because of sacrifice we get the peace, contentment and joy of personally knowing our savior in a freedom his salvation brings and there is nothing greater than that :)

learning to care...

well I’ve been a total slacker! but I’ve had a really good excuse... nursing school is not a nice thing and sucks every ounce of everything you have in you so you have nothing left to give or say when the day is over... but in two weeks it will all be over! praise god! for a year that dragged on I cant believe its really almost over, looking back I cant believe how much I’ve grown and changed and learned so many things about myself and how I see people differently...



haha well see I started an entry but got distracted! hey I'm trying here! but it is my goal to be more focused and faithful about writing as summer comes to an end, I'm hoping to haven't ore time once fall begins... I find it hard to sit down and write when its so beautiful and sunny outside, I need some rainy days to motivate me :) I do have like 5 half written blogs in my journal, I write down little notes when I get inspired or touched by something or when god speaks to me but forming those into something others can read takes a bit of work...


God has been doing so much in my heart this summer... a lot of ironing out and showing me little things I’ve been holding on to that are keeping me from doing all his has in my life... no matter where I am, in church, praying, listening to worship music the message has had a theme this summer "step up, raise the bar, sacrifice and don’t be afraid!" god has held up a mirror to heart and keeps showing me how I can love him more and the sacrifices I need to make to be closer to him... that IS what I’ve been seeking God for but when he actually shows you, your flesh steps in and gets all defensive, trying to justify human nature, I’m so thankful for Gods faithfulness and patience :) because I’ve been saved for a while I think its so easy to get to that comfortable place in your walk with God where you feel safe and secure and kind of hiding from God so he wont ask you for more... that’s where I’ve been for a while cozy in my little nook of Christianity... well I think god decided this little bird needed to be pushed from its nest, not by any major life changing event but by pushing me to make changes in my everyday life, ones that everyone wouldn’t even notice but have made a huge different in my heart and my daily walk God :)