Im not sure where to begin with this whole blogging thing... so I decided to start with one of the craziest things Ive ever done... I went to Kenya... This might not seem too crazy to you but if you knew me you'd understand this trip was a huge step out of my comfort zone...
I was reading through an old journal the other day and came upon this entry
5/19/08... they say if you keep repeating the same actions expecting different results that's insanity. well maybe I am because that's what I keep doing! I complain about my life but never do anything to change it. I'm trying to figure out how me, someone who loves God, has lots of friends,a family that supports me, a job I love can be so lonely and frustrated with life. its almost like im stuck where I am, I want and know things im me need to change but I don't know what or how! Maybe I just need a change of scenery or something...
One month later I made the decision to spend 3 months in Kenya on a mission trip...
When I told people I wanted to go on a 3 month mission trip to Africa I usually got the same reaction "Oh that would wonderful" or "wow that would be quite an adventure"... I'm pretty sure no one thought Id actually go! Ive always had lots of things Ive set out to do and usually most never get accomplished... When the realization hit me that this was really going to happen I was ecstatic and utterly petrified. I'm not one to venture off alone in anything! never mind half way across the world and for three months! Id never been away home longer than two weeks. But despite my fears I knew this was something I needed to do and with that I began on an adventure of a lifetime...
When I say its difficult to put into words what Africa was like and how it changed me, that's an understatement... but im going to try. Kenya was... amazing... beautiful...humbling. Not really knowing what to expect when I got there, any expectations I did have were totally blown out of the water... Africa showed me how selfish I was, how cold and hard-hearted I had let myself become. It showed me how shallow my walk with God was. It was the first time I realized that I knew God in my head and loved him but hadn't really let him 100% into my heart. I was always good at following rules and looking perfect on the outside and since everyone else believed I had it all together I never took the time to truly search my heart and find out where I stood with God. The hearts of the Kenyan people I met convicted me so much, they had such a pure love for God, that wasn't based on the blessings they'd received or how much stuff they had. They had next to nothing but were some of the most generous people Id ever met. Spending day after day in the Kibera slums gave me an entirely new perspective on life, it softened my heart and gave me a love for people that I had never had before. Being in Kenya and away from all the distractions of everyday life made me realize that at home I was always so busy with life and even ministry that I barely even had a relationship with God and didn't even realize it. Africa allowed God to break something in me and made himself so real and tangible to me, in a way I had never experienced before. We went there to serve people and bring them the gospel, to meet some of there needs, to bring hope and love and salvation but in the end God used them to restore my hope and love...
Looking back now it almost seems surreal, like a dream... I thank God I was given this opportunity... It changed me, it changed my heart...In a way it saved my life :)
